Muddle, I think they are just so locked into the way they are thinking that anything that threatens that gets a viscious kick right where it counts! If her R with OP is so wonderful and secure then what is the problem with going to see someone and showing that to be the case. Hey, maybe I would see the light and give up! Wouldn't that be a possibility too. She could then say "I went for counselling and did my part". My W is embarrassed and ashamed and wants to keep it all tucked away, exposing it to noone. She wants to carry on just as is, on auto pilot. I want to discuss with her all the ramifications of separation and what that will mean but, again, to use a utilitarian approach to keeping our M alive would be useless. She must choose to stay and work on us because that is what SHE wants to do. We'll see how it all shakes out. Thanks for dropping by.
