Well, I sprung the question this morning...went over like a lead balloon! W's walls sprung up so fast it was incredible. Here's the short of it: W: What would be the purpose of this? Me: It would help us to think about the future and what we want as individuals and as a family W: You just want everything to be the way it was Me: NO, the way it was,was not good. W: I do my own thinking, I don't need someone to help me think besides it's none of her business"..."I know what it will be, I have lots of issues to deal with and I'm the one to blame for this" Me: I would never suggest a process that would do that. This is positive, future oriented and respectful. The therapist asked me to tell you that. It's not about blame or digging up the past, it's about helping us to look forward and figure out what we want in our lives" W: Well, what do we need it for? It comes down to I stay or I go and I choose to stay. You can choose what you want to do and the kids will have to adjust to it. Me: I don't think it is a matter of me or you making decisions it is about us making decisions together, even this one if it has to be made that way!" It went on for a bit after that. She said she's not happy but chooses to live that way and that is that! I asked her to at least think about what I've suggested and that I wouldn't pressure her. I said "you will think about it,at least,right" She said "why do you have to keep bothering me, of course I'll think about it, it's in my head now!" We'll wait and see. Again, I assured her that I would never take her into a counselling situation that would be judgemental or disrespectful, I would never do that. I told her I chose a SF Counsellor for that very reason. Wow, she was bristling. She wants everything to remain just the way it is. I told her that I am having difficulty with the way things are and can't see this going on forever. She said "then do what you have to do". Afterwards we got dressed, went down stairs and carried on as a very pleasant couple! What a life.
