Thanks for checking in OSU. It's been busy busy lately! This past weekend I began my counselling course, it was two full days (btw that is my 180, doing something career oriented, W just finished her graduate degree pt and I decided to learn some Solution Focused Counselling, DB put that into my head). Tonight was BR Dance II Lesson 2 and W was in a really good mood and I was pissy! That rarely happens, I'm usually pretty up. I turned it around at class and we had a good time. Learned the Tango tonight! We're actually one of the better couples in this class, it's nice to feel like I'm not a complete FU this session. So Thursday I'm seeing the SF Counsellor and today I wrote up a list of my options (I counted 5), all my GAL efforts and my 180's to date. I hope she will help me to sort out some of this because, as I've said before, I'm really stumped right now. I need somebody to walk me through the thinking process (cuz I know she won't tell me what to do!). So, that's it from the homefront. Hope everyone is doing well tonight (or at least not badly )
Jump on O's thread. He needs a 2x4...I've told him to stay focused on his little ones.
It's good to hear that you are BR dancing - and with your W? I haven't tried that yet with mine, but I will see if she wants to go - if I can get her to take a break from her days off at home. It sounds like fun!!!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
today is my counselling visit. I had a mini-meltdown on the way to work, feeling quite emotional today. I think the idea of discussing this with someone new is painful. It's also the first time that the idea of calling it quits has been so high on the scale of possiblilities. I pulled the car onto a side street, had my cry and went to work. I'm fine now. A good cry doesn't hurt once in a while, it cleanses. I've been having weird dreams this week. Last night it was dreaming that my W was going out to see OP and I stopped her and asked her not do go, she gave me a passionate kiss and didn't leave. Yup, that's a dream!!! I've had a number of those this week, you know, W breaking up with OP. I guess this counselling visit has my emotion running high. Well, I'll just see how it goes and remind myself that any decision is mine to make and it's when I decide it's time to make it. No pressure. I'll fill everybody in later. Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks guys! Just got back from the counselling session. Wow, 1.5 hours of me yakking. Counsellor suggested that it would be beneficial for me to convince my W to come with me. She sees that I have done so much in terms of trying to save the M. She believes W needs to start looking at what she wants from life and how she can get there. We need to look at what a life together would look like and all the other possibilities. She believes W is totally exhausted and isn't taking responsibility for making the life she wants. Counsellor said "you'd be surprised at the changes that can occur when a couple come in together". So I told her I would seriously consider this idea and get back to her. I too believe something different needs to happen here, more of the same just isn't doing it.This may be where we need to go. Anyway, that's my report for tonight and I'm now off to Yoga class. Hey, counsellor said she'd be willing to lend me counselling videos to help me with my studies, very generous of her! She knows my teachers. The SF world is probably pretty small. Later Dbers!
I'm thinking about popping the question, you know, getting down on one knee, taking her hand and saying "Dear, will you go to therapy with me" I'm thinking about how to pop the question. My latest thought is just to bring it up something like "a while ago you said you'd go to counselling with me, I'd like to book an appointment now, is that still OK?. I feel we're at a point where we need some help in thinking through our future plans as a couple and as a family, I think it would be helpful if we could try this". I don't want to talk about saving the M etc. because in reality what we are going to do is just what I've said, start looking at what we want for our future(s) and how we're going to get there, that may be together or apart, who knows. Any thoughts out there in DB land?
Btw, I'm kidding about the getting down on one knee thing!
Quote: "a while ago you said you'd go to counselling with me, I'd like to book an appointment now, is that still OK?.
I think that's a good idea however, I don't think I would throw in the part about thinking about our future as a couple unless she has actually mentioned to you that that is her plan also. Use the KISS rule.
Good luck
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
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I'm thinking about how to pop the question. My latest thought is just to bring it up something like "a while ago you said you'd go to counselling with me, I'd like to book an appointment now, is that still OK?. I feel we're at a point where we need some help in thinking through our future plans as a couple and as a family, I think it would be helpful if we could try this". I don't want to talk about saving the M etc. because in reality what we are going to do is just what I've said, start looking at what we want for our future(s) and how we're going to get there, that may be together or apart, who knows. Any thoughts out there in DB land?