Whatis is in the doghouse again! Yes, I spoke up about W badmouthing D's teacher in front of the kids. In hindsight, I should have taken her aside and said "please don't do this and this is why" but I just asked her to stop as D's don't need to know these things. We met with D's teacher today and W was venting somewhat. I just reacted (never a good strategy). Before the meeting she met me at the front of the school and laid into me because my cell wasn't on, she hit me with one of my triggers, the "you never..." I just looked at her and continued walking with her following. I did not respond, finally she asked me to stop and said "aren't we going to discuss what we want from this meeting" and I said "let's discuss it". Meeting went as well as I expected (low expectation) but she claimed to "not be happy", fair enough. So she let the girls know why she was not happy! Later on, after the silent treatment she approached me and asked me why I had done what I did, I said I felt it innappropriate for either of us to "badmouth" the teacher in front of the kids because they will go to school and tell their friends and could eventually work against what we're trying to build with teacher. She said "I know you'll think this unrealistic but what about asking them not to tell anyone" I replied "maybe" and left. Again, this is one of the things I have wanted to address with her before but her sensitivity and anger when confronted with any of her behaviour really keeps me from doing it. Actually, tonight was one of the better times and she actually approached me somewhat reasonably for an explanation. Now she seems to be in a very happy mood, I have no idea why. Yes, I would approach it differently if I had the chance again but whatis is! I find myself wanting to constantly put out the fires to keep this home a place that is reasonably healthy for the kids (and us) and therefore some of the more "in your face" 180's I shy away from. I won't have yelling and screaming and the trauma the kids went through last time that happened. So, enough babbling BUT the positive is that she did approach me and she did not go ballistic, she was mad but fair enough. Maybe in future I can be a little more assertive again and see how it goes. Who knows.
