Piecing Advice

[123snap]

You know SD, I think you need to look at it like this. What do YOU want, you want H and your M. So the OW stuff is just that stuff, a bump in the road, something to go around. You need to acknowledge that it has made you mad as hell that he did this, it isn't fair you need to rant and rave and call her every name in the book and him too for doing this to you, cry it out, yell it out, but do it alone or with a counselor. And then when you are all emotioned out and feel empty think about what you want and what emotions you want to replace that hate and jealously. And concentrate on those feelings and let them replace the angry ugly feelings. and then remember that the snooping will only bring back the ugly feelings. I too can be a snooper, when I get the urge I remember that I cannot control him, he can be doing what ever he wants when he is not with me and I can't stop him or control him, only me and my feelings. I have to deal with that, I have to trust for my sake, not his, snooping is not an act of trust, it make me feel like hell even when I find nothing. So I don't do it because for me it is a one way trip to crazy town. I will admit to not being perfect and if there is something obvious in front of my face, I will glance, but that is all, I don't go looking.

I hope you can get through this, I still have to work on it, I suspect this is a big deal to a lot of us LBS's part of the whole trust thing