Last night we went to our MC for seperate sessions, followed by a joint session. I went first, and spoke of all of the positive things that have been happening, and how good I feel about the relationship. My wife went second. At the end, we were together. Basically the MC said that she wanted to continue the seperate sessions because I have decided to work on our marriage, and my wife had not decided to work on the marriage yet. I was shocked, speechless and could not even write down the appointment time for the next session in two weeks. When we got home, (we came in seperate cars) I asked my wife what that meant. I thought we were both committed to working on our marriage. She said that the MC made it sound much worse then it is. What she says that she told the MC was that right now, she is committed to working on building a new relationship with me from the ground up. Free from all of the baggage from our past. She said that it was going very well. She is enjoying our time together, and is starting to be my friend again. She said the MC was pushing her to say when she feels she would be ready to have a physical relationship again. She said that she told the MC, that she was not ready to talk about that yet,and was committed to this new relationship building, and until that was finished, she was not ready to even think about the other things. I don't know, but I believe the MC said what she said, because she knew that I would not be able to let it go, and we would talk about things when we got home. We certainly did. My wife told me that she wants to get to the point where we are working on our marriage together. She feels that our relationship work is going in the right direction, and she is amazed that I have been able to make the changes that I have made and she believes that they are real. She said that she never in her wildest dreams, believed that I could do it. She is proud of me. Then she said the most important thing. She said that when she feels comfortable that our relationship is solid and secure, she will be ready to work on our marriage. When she makes that commitment, she will be ready to make love again and do all of the things that a wife does. She said she believes she will get there, but really has no idea how long that will take. She said that she has been unhappy for 10 years. If the rule is 1 month for every year of pain, I have at least 7 months to go. I can do that. She can do it as well. After what sounded like a death sentence in the MC;s office, we came to a point where we actually talked about where we both believe that we could end up, if we both work hard enough on it.
