Do you know what brought you to do it? Was your H not giving you the attention you wanted? I am just asking cuz I want to understand why my H is doing this. We were never lacking in the sexual part as a matter of fact when he wanted to sleep seperatley, he even said we were always good in that part. It wasn't until I started not wanting it that i think the PA started, but I don't understand cuz I has always been the one w/ the higher sex drive! I think it was all the fighting all the time that we did not know HOW to communicate. I have done some major 180's w/ that. H will push my buttons, but I do not respond or react like I use to.
a lot of it was attention. His friends were more important to him than I was (which he denies) ..... I didn't feel important to him and this OM took an interest in me. Working on me 40 hours a week......when my H wasn't really working on me at all. Does that make sense?
I'm NOT blaming my H - I made the bad choice. But that's how I felt when I did.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I know exactly what you mean. I have come close to an A, but then I don't know if it's my fear of God or I just try to think about the good times of my M or just to see the innocent faces on my kids face that makes not do it. Do you think your H is the type to get revenge by doing the same thing?
no I don't think he is. His friends have told him he should - to get back at me but he doesn't get their logic. He has said he wishes he had been the one to cheat - mostly because he was my first and this is a low blow to him. It was something special...and now I'm "just like every other woman" in his eyes.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Oh! That must be really painful to hear! My persoanl relationship w/ the Lord has gotten stronger since all this came out four months ago & at first I thought I couldn't handle it any longer, but prying does work and it increases your strength! I try not to snoop anymore unless it is right infront of me because when I do it only makes me do some more private detective stuff that God has already told me "lean not on my own understanding & leave it all up to HIM!" Please get closer to HIM if you haven't already. He is truly the only one that can give you peace & direct you in what to do next! I will keep you in my prayers. Just keep showing your H all the love adn the wife that you never were, but can be & he will see what he will be missing if he decides to leave.
Quote: Oh! That must be really painful to hear! My persoanl relationship w/ the Lord has gotten stronger since all this came out four months ago & at first I thought I couldn't handle it any longer, but prying does work and it increases your strength! I try not to snoop anymore unless it is right infront of me because when I do it only makes me do some more private detective stuff that God has already told me "lean not on my own understanding & leave it all up to HIM!" Please get closer to HIM if you haven't already. He is truly the only one that can give you peace & direct you in what to do next! I will keep you in my prayers. Just keep showing your H all the love adn the wife that you never were, but can be & he will see what he will be missing if he decides to leave.
He moved out New Years' Day. I went back to church the first time in a LONG time Tuesday night for prayer. That will definitely be a weekly occurrence for me, as well as Sunday service if I can make it - I've gotten a second job and something they schedule me Sunday mornings.
This all just sucks.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier on me if H did move out, but then I've told that it would be esier on H to get closer to OW. I guess @ least w/ H home I have a chance to show him how I have changed. On the other side it hurts when he leaves & doesn't return until the next day. I don't have that leisure w/ the 3 kids and all. Try to keep a positve mind, I know it's hard. I am glad you started back to church. R u getting counseling, try to talk to the pastor of your church. I tried,but for some reason this pastor will not see just one partner only of the marriage.
as far as moving out - H asked me what I'd do if it were reversed. I told him I don't know how he would be able to earn my trust back if I wasn't there daily to witness his actions. He doesn't feel trust can ever be earned back.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
How r u doing? I think my 180's are making H come around slowly but coming around!! I will not get my hopes up though, I understand how these things can go up & down. At least H is stell sleeping in our bed & last nite he was in a real good mood, real talkative ( everyday stuff). So, I took that chance to let him know about this my weekend plans & that if he wanted to go w/me to my coworkers getogether he can, but that either way I was going to get a sitter and go bymyself. He said YES! He wanted to go!!!! THis is really a BIG change, he never wants to be alone anywhere w/ me!!! So, wish me luck1!! H was even real flirty playful w/ me....... I hope all is well w/you.
