Most people on this board would be thrilled to get an ILY. (Congrats Jethro!!)
I'm getting ILY's from my husband. I'm still thrilled each time.
However, I still feel like if I didn't call him and ask him on a date, he'd not ask me.
I've seen that before...and each time, the person decides to wait it out, their spouse DOES come back and ask them for a date.
The fact is, despite my hurting heart, I DON'T want my husband back unless he wants to be back. Truly back.
After this date, I need to back off and not contact him, go back to only calling him once for every 4 times he calls me. Let him have the opportunity to put some effort into our relationship.
My biggest fear. He won't call, won't contact me, won't ask me on a date. I'll never hear from him again. I'll be in Limbo the rest of my life.
Is this realistic? With my husband? No....but 6 months could easily go by before he decides to call. This is how he is with his family.
And when they call and express the desire to see him, he'd ask me why they couldn't just leave him alone. I'd try to explain that they love him and want to be a part of his life. He didn't get it. Was perfectly happy only hearing from them once a month. Was annoyed at family obligation. I don't know if he's changed.
Sigh.
I need to remember that people don't value what they get for free.
Most people value stuff more, the more they pay for it.
By giving my husband me for free, I'm only hurting myself and our relationship. I'm only giving him permission to not value me.
On Sunday, on our date, I'll not talk about our relationship. I'll stay focused on being/having fun and being friendly, enthusiastic and energetic.
