Something that happens with my husband and I alot.
And it causes great strain.
I'll ask him to do something. He'll say, "No," and give me some excuse that in essence says I'd do it, but I can't because of this...but I really WANT to do it. Whatever the it is at the time.
So, then I, believing that he does really want to do it, do what I can to make it happen despite the obstacles in his path.
And then of course, he gets mad because he feels like I'm pressuring him when he clearly said, No.
Well, it finally hit me yesterday. I have a friend who handles things this way. What she really means is, "Flat out, no way, not going to happen, but I don't wanna hurt your feelings."
It didn't occur to me until yesterday that my husband of all people would be being polite with me.
But, that must be what he's doing, because otherwise, the situation doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
He'll ask me why when he said no, clearly, that I keep pressuring him. From my end, I didn't think he'd said no, but rather I'd love to, but I have these obstacles.
I guess what might have helped me realize this earlier, is if I could figure out a way to overcome those obstacles, then so could he. And the fact that he wasn't, meant that they were't really obstacles, but just handy excuses.
I guess the fog is clearing in my brain, cause I finally realized that this is what is happening.
So, now I need to know/remember that when he says no, whatever comes after that no, to ignore and to focus on the no.
