I'm impressed -- you've really caught on to "what works" and are making it happen. Wow. I am jazzed by your attitude.
It's all true for me, too. Take to heart the natural, casual ILYs. Yesterday my H teased me for being lazy -- like he'd taunt a buddy -- and I gave him some sass back -- like I'd sass my girlfriend -- and for the first time we didn't tense up and mis-react. We lounged some more. We've both been revelling in our recovery.
I'm glad "it is written" (DB, DR and marriagebuilders.com) that spending time together is primary. We've always been happier when we take a chunk of time every day to just hang out.
Of course, how do you manage this and also _______ fill in blank? (care for family/work/shop/clean/socialize/learn/direct the movie/dance...)
I'm deeply amazed and grateful my R with my H is recovering. And I'm so happy for you and your H, as well!
It's cool-as-a-moose to be able to build "a new R" on a 17-year history of connection and shared life, rather than to have to start over, broken.
Will keep listening in for more great news & inspiration from you.
Cheers,
Bridget
when you
I love reading your posts here, they are resonating with me.
I had worries similar to yours about the holidays (last year estranged) but with discipline and giving each other the benefit of the doubt we did fine.
I'm also having breakthroughs similar to yours (winky smiley face here). You wrote beautifully about how you can help your own PMA with activities. I'm writing (in lipstick on my big mirror) "jump up and dance, grrrlll!" so I remember to also get more exercise.
I think just hitting the "refresh" button on the year offers me a chance to clean the screen to work with.
