My husband and I had a date scheduled for Sunday. It didn't happen because he wanted to use Sunday as his catch up day from the holidays. Basically doing laundry and other mundane but neccesary things.
Well, my feelings were hurt. I felt like I should come first, ahead of such mundane everyday things.
But, as I thought about it, I realized that I had slacked off on doing those little chores. And that I had started daydreaming about where our relationship was going and letting all other areas of my life fall by the wayside.
And this has been something that has cropped up over and over again in my relationship. And I believe it would be my problem no matter whom I'm with.
From what I can tell, when things are going well in my relationship with my husband, I begin daydreaming. I get so happy, that I stop doing the chores I know I need to do to maintain my PMA. Waking up every day and making up my bed first thing is a little chore, but it gives me a high PMA.
Well, when I stop doing those little things, I start resenting my husband because I've put him first, why doesn't he put me first. However, objectively, I'm a much happier person and a better friend when I work first, play later.
The problem for me, is that I am afraid that I need a little bit of pain to help me stay on track. It seems like only when our relationship is going through a rough patch do I remember to focus on doing the chores that boost my PMA and help my life run smoothly.
Now, ideally, I want to have the best relationship I can and the best life I can. And I know I can have both.
I need to figure out how to maintain my focus on my day to day life when my relationship is going well.
There are lots of little things that boost my PMA. I like working on small Plastic Canvas projects. I feel great when I'm finished, I feel accomplished. And these little projects make great gifts and so, I'm happy also because I've made someone else happy.
My PMA takes a huge jump when I do some form of exercise in the morning.
When I focus on my school work and improving my work at my job, my PMA stays high.
So, I have plenty of things to focus on.
Now, I have to figure out how to stay focused on these when I want to start daydreaming.
In order to have the best relationship with my husband that I can, I need to focus on these other things as well. By focusing on these other areas of my life, I give my husband the gift of a happy, positive wife.
