well.....alot has happened since i last posted...h has decided to come home. he says he loves me and is sorry for all the hurt. he says he is willing to go w/ me to counseling, and is saying all the right things. we have decided not to rush back into things...will date for a while instead..take things slow.
D13 is not happy....S10 is happy.
i have to confess...i am taking extreme caution...trying to protect my heart...homecoming is almost bittersweet...i had something i had come to love in a special way and had to let go...broke my heart.
well, that is all i can say at this time. as always, i wish for everyone the best.
Yellowrose-Right now i feel so confused. i know i should be happy/excited about h coming home...but i'm sad about having to give up something important....h couldn't come home otherwise.i am bound and determined that i am not going back to where i have worked so hard to come from. i have learned alot about myself over these past several months...most importantly...who i am. i refuse to walk on eggshells and just be content...I WILL NOT SETTLE for less than what i want or deserve. i have been moving forward and i will continue.
See you have grown. Don't give that up. It will be rocky for a while while you get reajusted. Keep moving forward and take your h with you and build a better R than before!!!
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
D13 is unhappy because she is afraid things between h & i will go back to how they were before he left...she is afraid that he has not /will not change. She doesn't want to go back to walking on eggshells....& dealing w/ the negative attitude h had.
Hi Deb, I am happy to hear that your H has decided to come home. Yes, take it slow with no expectations. As for D13 what she is feeling is quite natural. It's good that she can openly express herself to you. If you and H are going to counseling just reassure her that your H will be getting help. Maybe D13 could go to some counseling too?
I'm very happy for you. You sound good, sounds like things are going just the way you hoped they would. And I'm glad to hear that you are proceeding slowly. Keep in mind that saying the right things and doing the right things are two different matters.
You seem to know what you want your life to be like. You seem to have a clear picture in your head of what you could have if everything was the way it should have been all along. Now stick to that! You're right not to settle. None of us should have to.
You've read plenty of these threads, so you have some idea of how these returns generally work. Stick to your decisions, don't be willing to accept a return to the ways of old. My FIL was always very fond of telling me "the proof is in the pudding" when he talked to me about the things I was working on when my marriage began to falter. And he's right. Words are easy. Actions are what matters.
As for your children, I am happy for S10. Boys tend to miss their fathers I think, so it's good that he is getting that comfort back. And for you D13, share with her as much as you can what you've decided, what your standards are, and let her know that you're not going back to the way things were. If she's a fighter, and I'm guessing she is, she'll stand beside you and help keep you from faltering. And if she loves you dearly, which I'm also guessing she does, she will stand beside you and support the desires of your heart.
I truly wish you the best. Anytime you need anything, all you have to do is holler. It's been fun following you on your journey, actually more than fun.
Blessings southern girl,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
