I broke down. I know that part of DBing is stating what we want. Well, I did it in spades.
I called my husband yesterday and asked about Thanksgiving. He said he wouldn't make it. After more talk, the conversation ended with me crying and him sounding concerned.
I called him later that night. We had a long healthy conversation that consisted of more crying on my part and lots of calm talking on both our parts. And him really listening to me.
I told him that I wasn't trying to give him an ultimatum, but that after 6 months of separation and getting my life on track, I was reaching the end of my emotional rope. That I wasn't going to be able to continue in this fashion much longer.
I was worried that he'd think I was talking about doing something stupid, but he understood what I meant.
I explained while my life is really full, that I still think about him everyday. That this is like constant torture for me.
He said he had no idea. That he thought I had just put our relationship on the back burner.
He really listened to me. I told him that the alternative is divorce. He quietly said that that's a big step. I said, so is being separated for 6 months.
I don't think he'd thought that far ahead.
I told him about Divorce Busting. That book has plenty to keep him busy, if he does read it.
I didn't tell him about the BBoard. Don't want to give away all my resources!
I told him that I wanted him to move to my town and get a job and for us to start living together again.
He was very surprised that I'd be willing to move in with him. I told him I would, in a heartbeat. Afterall, we ARE married. He chuckled.
And he said today that he'd get online and start looking for a job in my town.
I'm an emotional wreck today.
But I know I did the right thing.
He now understands how I'm feeling. He's made the choice to move here. He really listened to me.
And while I'm exhausted right now..I suspect after a good nights sleep and seeing some effort on his part, that I'll get a second wind.
