Lil, The point I was trying to make is that the difficulty in making choices ( whether it's because you're afraid to be judged, afraid to be seen as wrong or bad, afraid to have love withdrawn, etc.) includes the choice to be sexual. It was hard for me to access my own sexuality. Although it might have helped to be paired with a more confident partner, ultimately I had to dig into my own psyche to free myself up. Luckily I had a spark in the form of erotic books; Rigley has a spark from the separation ( interesting how his fear of losing love, when it finally happened, is the very thing that's helping him get in touch with himself). The clue to unlocking yourself is getting to the heart of your deepest fear.
