Yeah, I guess we can say she plays you like a Steinway.
I was thinking about something else re you today... I must preface with a story about a woman friend of mine who got a divorce. She had been married to a very domineering man. When she got the D, she had been so used to kowtowing to her husband that she honestly didn't know who she was, or what her preferences were even in the most trivial areas. I was very touched by the story she told of her son (who was in his late teens at the time) taking her to the grocery store to buy stuff for herself. She didn't know what she liked. She was so used to buying stuff for her picky husband, that she didn't know what kind of food she liked. She said her son went up and down the aisles putting stuff in her basket, saying things like, "Mom, let's get some of this. I've heard you say you like this <whatever>." Sad story. The punch line is that she went on to become a very accomplished artist who works in a unique medium where she creates vessels out of coiled yarn and fabric. Her pieces are stunning and she's had many many shows over the last several decades.
Anyway, what this has to do with you is the following: I'd like to suggest that as you go about your normal day, you stop often and check in with yourself as to your preferences. When you go into a restaurant for lunch, instead of just ordering your "usual," look at the menu and ask yourself, "What would I really like to eat right now?" Or when you get dressed in the morning, instead of grabbing your typical outfit, ask what do I want to wear? If you wear ties, what color speaks to me right now? When you're in the car listening to the radio, what song do you want to listen to, or what program. Same with the TV. Instead of just turning it on, look over the program guide and see what you'd REALLY like to watch right now. See where I'm going? Be active not passive. Check in with yourself and get to know what it viscerally feels like to be in touch with something that you like, that you want, and that gives you satisfaction. These are ways that you can practice self-assertion that don't challenge anyone else and don't require confrontation or even gumption. Just indulge yourself and honor your preferences.
I read on another BB that one guy who's going through a rough break-up has initiated a practice of every morning as his feet hit the floor he expresses gratitude-- out loud. To God, if you have a God, to the universe, to whomever... he goes into the day with gratitude on his lips.
With all our woes, we all have a lot to be grateful for...
She said her son went up and down the aisles putting stuff in her basket, saying things like, "Mom, let's get some of this. I've heard you say you like this <whatever>." Sad story. The punch line is that she went on to become a very accomplished artist who works in a unique medium where she creates vessels out of coiled yarn and fabric. Her pieces are stunning and she's had many many shows over the last several decades. 
