She had a few things to discuss, including the heater not working downstairs.
She also said that she called our pediatrician-friend who'd been seeing our kids at our house or his over the last few years, and told him we were moving them to another doctor. She said he propositioned her for sex. "At least he wants to [censored] me." I don't know much of what was said after that, because I was pissed.
We hung up and I dialed his number, and she beeped in. She said she was sorry she'd said that to me, and to please drop it. I erupted. I told her I wasn't mad at her, I was mad at him, for acting like my friend and then doing this to me. I went on and on about what a piece of sh!t he was, but agreed not to call him. She said she'd never talk to him again. She said she was trying to hurt me by telling me this, and she was sorry.
She went on about how he was just kidding. (right.) I said I was pissed because he'd betrayed me, but also because he was a slime ball and she was too good for him. She said to not worry, that nothing was going to happen. But she wanted me to know that other guys wanted her. I told her "I wanted you, and I DO want you."
She said she still feels like I'm making her the bad guy by wearing my ring, and that I'm telling all our friends that she's leaving me, and acting pitiful, but I won't let her tell them about the sex stuff. I said "but I said I didn't mind if you told your best friend. Did you?" she said yes, and I said "And...?" She said, "but she didn't tell her husband and your friends.
Then she went into how this was working out so perfectly for me because I had the kids on the weekend and was getting to do stuff with our friends and she wasn't. (That football game the other night was at our mutual friends' house. The wife, my wife's best friend, had mentioned she might go hand out with my wife, but she ended up going to another friends' house instead.) My wife said "I guess she's tired of all this sh!t too.
She said, and none of this is making me have good feelings about you.
And then she said, "And you won't even stand up and be a man and end this." I said "I am being a man, by facing my part in what has happened to us, and dealing with my issues head on."
W: "But you won't even say why you're wearing your ring. And you won't DO anything."
I get pretty loud at this point, but not yelling at her, just passionate.
M: "I am doing something. I'm doing my damndest to become a man that a woman can rely on, a man that knows what he thinks, a man who doesn't look to you so much for approval. A man who doesn't need to follow you around all the time to figure if he's allowed to be happy. A man who can make a decision without being wishy-washy."
I went on longer than that, and she was silent. When she came back, she said that she was mad, that her life as she knew it is over because of me. I said I was mad too, that my life as I had know it was over too, but that I wasn't going to take it out on her, and she wasn't taking it out on me. I said "I get that you're mad."
There were a couple more times in this conversation when I acknowledged her anger. At one point, when she was going on and on about me turning our friends against her, I said "you've got plenty of valid reasons to be mad at me, and I want to hear them, but please don't get mad at me about things I haven't done."
At the end of the conversation, I tried to exit by wrapping up the other details. I mentioned there might be a business card on the heater with a number she could call. She said "I'm not an idiot. I can take care of this."
