Did you ever ask her how she prefers that you initiate?
Perhaps it is how you go about it, and not the fact that you are doing it, that causes her to resist it.
I do not like the way my H initiates. He is slowly and I mean s-l-o-w-l-y developing the skills to do it differently and I am perfectly happy to wait it out and moderately patient with the process. His style of initiating is usually to ask in this timid-sounding voice if I want to have sex. I HATE THIS. It absolutely turns me off to know that he can't let his desire be known until I have already agreed to sex. IOW, he wants *me* to say that I'm turned on and then he will reciprocate. This is not how women want the dance to go, kwim? Anyway, my point is that he rarely does this anymore. Well, he still asks if I'm in the mood first which I don't care for, but the other stuff has gone by the wayside thank goodness. So I'm wondering if perhaps the reason you never got off first base is that she doesn't care for your style instead of her not wanting to have sex. Or maybe she was just furious that it had taken you so long to initiate--I've experienced that too.
To me, your wife's reactions are not all that strange. However, I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about it. Just know that the type of work you are doing..showing your true feelings, etc...is going to translate well in the bedroom. I suspect that your bedroom style was reminiscent of your outward style and that just wasn't doing it for her.
Likewise, her crabby aggressive style doesn't make you all googly eyed for her. As she softens it will, I'm guessing, become easier and easier for you two to be successful in the sack.
All in due time!
I was just saying that these two reactions are quite normal in HDW's. Try not to get hung up on it and just plow ahead being the totally hot guy you were the other night.
