It's puzzled me that my wife has complained about sex in two conflicting ways (these are not the only complaints, just the ones that seemingly conflict).
She's said "You never initiate sex"
AND
"You never want to have sex when I do"
I'm guilty in part in both of those scenarios. But I never realized the pattern here because I wasn't correcting the first "I am always the one to initiate sex." That's just not true. Not at all. I understand that she thinks it's true because in most of the times I initiated I never got past first base with her, and gave up. But if I make these two statements more accurate...
She resists when I try to initiate sex. She complains that I don't initiate sex.
I see exactly the same pattern as in the old restaurant selection. She wanted me to take the lead. I didn't take the lead in a manly way. She stepped in to take the lea, but resented it. When I tried to take the lead back, she resisted.
