Why do I think she will go through with a divorce? You're right that she doesn't have the momentum currently to go through the work for a divorce on her own. In our meeting, for instance, she barely had enough to keep it on the topic of divorce, rather than our previous relationship.
It's even clearer to me after last night that she wants me to hold her hand as we walk through the process. And it's not because she's not capable. I think it's because she doesn't want to end up on the other side of this being the woman who broke up her family. For my part, I intend to hold her hand, but take a step only after she's taken a step.
That's why she keeps bringing up the ring. She knows I don't want a divorce and it's making her feel guilty and mad.
The other reason she wants us to go through the process, and I think she wouldn't admit this, is that she wants my comfort. She's got no one. We've planned our lives together since we were practically kids. She feels alone and uncertain.
Do I think she'll go through with a divorce? If I don't give her a reason to escalate her anger, and if I also don't push it along, it's going to take a heck of a lot of determination. So far, she's been fueled by anger, fear, and pain, and restrained by guilt, practicality, and a bit of love. The anger is subsiding, but she could invent reasons to be angry (like being angry at me for not doing the divorce for her). The pain persists, and she can pretend that it will go away if we divorce. But how to overcome the fear that she won't be sexually fulfilled. That's a hard one.
