Well, We had our first date.

It went really well. He told me that he still loved me...he held my hands, he hugged me, he called me beautiful, he cried twice. He held doors open for me, he was very respectful. And he apologized for treating me badly.

Wow.

However, he said he doesn't want to go back to our marriage the way it used to be. And that he still doesn't know what he wants to do.

I assured him that I didn't want to go back to it either. That I want a new marriage with him.

But for someone who doesn't know whether he wants to continue our marriage, he sure said/did a lot of nice things.

He said that if he knew that we could improve our marriage and turn what was bad before into good times, then he'd want to try again.

I told him that out of respect for his needing space/time that I will wait for him to ask me out and to chase me. I told him that I'm afraid part of our problem is that I chased him, I asked him to marry me, and I suspected that he didn't really know what he wanted to do then, but because I was so strongly persuing him, he chose to marry me. I told him that I want to be sure that he's with me because he wants to be with me, not because I've chased after him.

He said he understood and then asked, teasingly, if this was really just a 'the guy should ask the girl on a date' thing or what.

I just repeated that I wanted to give him the time/space he needs, and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

The evening went really well. He was such a gentleman to me and I felt like a lady for the first time with him, in a long time.

And he told me that he misses cuddling with me.

So, I'm really up right now.

I know that I still have a lot of work to do. I need to keep focusing on making my positive changes more permanent and more habitual.

I intend to keep reading the boards and to keep posting.

Hugs and thanks for listening.


PIB