My Walk away wife who did not leave yet.

[Heywyre]

Congrats on controlling your anger, I am sure it hasn't been easy for you.

As for the intimacy, I know how you feel. I can count on one hand (with several fingers left over) how many times H and I have ML in the last 5 years - YES, 5 YEARS!!!!! His "excuse" - "I don't have the drive I used to" and "I'm getting older". Right!! Well, seems like he managed to find the "drive" with someone else didn't he? And, not only once but TWICE!! (sorry for the vent but, needless to say, I am still extremely angry)

I have gone through this twice (once in 2002 and now again) and it is wearing on me, to say the least.

It's great that you are together, my H still wants to spend a lot of time alone (which makes me worry every second where he is, who he's with). He tells me nothing is going on but needless to say, I find that hard to believe these days. I know I have a trust issue to deal with and don't know if I can ever build that back but I have to try because no matter what I do, I can't change him. He has to change himself.

You say "there is very little intimacy" which suggests to me there is at least some. Accept that as being positive for the time being. You are further ahead than I am, that's for sure. I would be estatic if H would initiate some intimacy and I crave the closeness, but have to be patient because that has always been an issue with him.

Take care and hang in there