Hey Jeff, Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. So much to catch up on since returning from my vacation.
It seems to me that you just slipped and fell down off that mountain just a bit and that is okay, it happens. I see you are on your way back up there. I need company up here, you know. You have received a lot of good advice from so many who believe in you. How wonderful to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends.
I will just say that I do not feel that you are really ready to end this M. I don't think it is what you really want. Yes, as Nicola said you need to detach more and not be tied to the outcome. I find that since I've not been analyzing everything H is doing or allowing his reactions affect my feelings, it has helped ME to be more loving towards him and I don't expect anything in return.
As Sheila said, your W does not have the right to tell you how to feel; being loving, compassionate and wanting to save your M. You are an honourable man who wants the best for his family, we know it and she will too one day, just not now.
If you are still going to stand for your M, you must not initiate D. I think you will regret this, if not now, in the future. Of course, no one can tell you what to do, only you know.
Take care of yourself, your children and your Mom. Continue to work on you and live your life for YOU. Your W will notice the changes even if you think she isn't watching.
I know you are worried about your Mom and I will be praying for her and you. Keep the faith and know your friends are here with you.
