Thanks so much for stopping by Holly. Seems we joined here the same time.
I will follow your advice. Part of me wants to continue trying but part of me does not. She would have to change (and I need a lot more work also) for this to work. It really would mean building a new R.
My earlier venting aside, I want to stand by my M by fully supporting my family but to me it also means really letting her go and even expediting the D if that is what is necessary. Does that make any sense to the folks here? Or am I muddled up again?
BBA wrote: “You can do both. You have to. You have to accept that even if you stand, you can't control the outcome. And you can't control her. The only thing you can control is you.” Good advice I had forgotten.
I lost sight of what detachment meant until I read the responses to me here, and on other threads. I do have too much invested. I need to stop focusing on the R and how to fix it. That is controlling. Her reactions should not influence me one way or the other provided I am doing things that do not hurt her and that I am true to myself. In fact, I should respect her reactions even if I do not agree.
