We went to see the C tonight (we usually go every week and it has REALLY been helping). We have had our ups and downs this week but we seem to be at an even keel at this point (fingers crossed)
H told C about one of the talks we had a couple of days ago and how a "light came on" (news to me) when I said to H, after he commented about maybe not being together down the road "if we don't stay together will you still be my friend". He immediately said "of course".
H told C that he never thought of me as his "friend" and when he did start thinking like that, which he said he thought was important (to be friends) in a relationship, he realized what a terrible thing he had done and how he would never have betrayed his male friends like that, but he did me. H said I never thought of women as friends. C said "what did you think of women as". H said "objects" (nice eh?)
But H said, once he really started thinking about us as being friends he realized we have drifted apart, because we were friends originally, and how we've lost that. And now that he thinks about it again, it has made things "lighter" and he can see it from a different prospective. He also told the C that he is reading a couple of books and will try to read as much as possible over the next weeks and months on the subject.
Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear that. I think he really is seeing a different side of things. He even told me again how sorry he was and that by reading the books he is starting to realize how much he has hurt me.
When we got home from C, his cell phone bill had come in the mail. He handed it to me without opening it and said "you wanted to see this", and confirmed there was nothing to see anyway but I was free to open it.
I said "no thanks, if you say there is nothing to see, I will take your word for it. After all, friends don't lie to each other do they". He said "no, they don't" and smiled.
It was hard in one way, not to look at the cell bill, but at the same time, saying no seemed to impower me too. I am feeling pretty good tonight. I just hope the feeling continues.
Now if we could just see some action in the love department, that would be a REAL improvement. Guess I shouldn't push it huh?
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
