Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[Heywyre]

That's exactly what my H did (pre-paid phone card) when he knew I was checking up on him. Then he called the phone company and got them to put on extra security, dual passwords etc. so I couldn't access his account. After the first A I thought I would be decent about it (what the h$ll was i thinking?) and confess that I had been checking up on him and I wouldn't do it again). What a mistake that was. Now I have absolutely no access to his accounts at all and it is driving my crazy, but at the same time, checking all the time can drive you insane too. I have to get out of the habit of doing that. I know H is trying a heck of a lot harder this time (trying to be open, honest, reading books etc.) but it doesn't build my self esteem back that has been shattered (TWICE!!!!). I just hope I can get through this again because I know for sure there is no way I am going to go through it a third time. This is his last stop to prove himself.

I guess my out (with asking him about the financial stuff) was that I make more money than he does (which isn't a big deal - for me anyway) and its a joint account. I have every right to know what's going in and out of that account.