I totally agree - as much as I would love to hear it back everytime I say it, that's not the reason I say ILY. I say it because I mean it and I can already see the difference in my H by doing so. As much as I probably say it more than he does, he is starting to say it more lately which is always nice.
He asked me the other day "after all I've done to you, and for all the pain and hurt I've caused you, how come you still love me"
I had to think really fast on that one I tell ya! (to some degree) I wanted to give him a really good answer but at the same time I didn't want him to think that what he did was okay, acceptable or that I condoned it.
I told him that regardless of his actions, which I don't condone one little bit, he is still a wonderful man. People make mistakes, not always ones that involve just themselves, and that he was suffering enough dealing with the emotions of what he has done. I told him it was time to stop beating himself up and for us to move on to another level. I said I knew we could never go back to where we were originally, and that made me sad, but I also confirmed that we could have a fresh start and form new memories and a new relationship together - perhaps even better than the old one.
He agreed and I noticed the next couple of days he was much lighter. As a matter of fact, last night he was even joking around a little - something I haven't seen in him for a long long time.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
