Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[cat03]

It was my idea to go to the other room but he is "ok with it" if that's what I want. It's NOT what I want but I can't lay beside a man that can say ILY.

Had I done that when my H told me "I dont' hate you but I dont..." we prob taken forever to conect and be intimate. Yes, it hurts like hell to not hear those words from my H, but I see he came back as a shell of a man and is piecing back himself, there isn't much left of himself, so how can he give me what he doesn't have? BUT... my affection, in some ways, have brought us closer, my initiating most if not all times the first months have let him know that I DO want him, that I do desire him, that I dont' despise him for what has happened.

Life is TOO short, if sleeping appart is NOT what you want, then why are you playing this game? I say this w/my best intentions, but it is almost like manipulation "if you dont do this I won't do this either". You need to forgive him and let him build upon the feelings he had and whatever feeligns he has now, you can't expect him to go into full loving mode, it takes work, it is a journey, a slow one, but denying him closeness is not helping, if anything, is making things worse.

Should I keep saying ILY even if he doesn't? I don't want him to think I am putting pressure on him but it is so hard not to say ILY when I really mean it

I tell my H I love him, he doesn't say it back, but I do it anyways because that's how I feel. I dont' say it very often, but when I feel it I say it. Sometimes after I say it I kiss him and then talk about something else, so he doesnt' feel like I'm expecting him to say it back, I dont' leave akward silences after I say ILY.

When the WAS came back they have pieces of themselves to put together, sometimes they dont know how. You need to stay still and not rush him, he might have issues with himself you got no idea about.