I've been up and down the past couple of days - I know that's normal but what with starting a new job (as a sessional instructor teaching the legal program at the college) I can't afford to not be sharp - woe is me!!
However, there was a baby step. H said he would meet me for lunch today without me actually having to ask him to do that for me. You see, Mondays used to be his "go to visit OW" days and it was stressing me out. He asked me a couple of times what I wanted to do, regarding my first day of work. I never did give him an answer because I didn't want to be the one to make the decision - he should know how important it is. Well, Friday, after seeing the C, he said he has already decided what he was going to do - meet me for lunch. What a relief.
But, tonight I am feeling somewhat stressed out. It is currently just after 1:00 a.m. and I have to get up in 5 hours and I'm not one bit tired (bet I will be at 6 am). H has gone to work (works nights - making things more stressful) and I know he wasn't feeling too upbeat this evening. Earlier in the evening he did say he was sorry for causing me so much turmoil (so I guess that's another baby step eh?) I have to admit, he has been saying sorry a whole heck of a lot more this time around. I think the first time he said it the once, maybe twice, and thought that should have been sufficient for me to forget it and move on.
One day at a time (wish I could go to sleep and wake up a year from now and all this pain would be gone)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
