Heywyre, If your H is not currently having an A, then I would say that you're in Piecing mode.
Working on forgiveness is very important. It's acceptance that the R and your H has been imperfect. It allows you to put your energy into the present versus dwelling on the past with destructive emotions. I commend you for that.
I can understand your resistance to any thought of S. If he wants to try that, you'll need to accept his request, and let him go. Work on managing the fear associated with the separation topic, and let him speak his mind about it. How does he think being separate will help him? What would need to be in place for him to work on things, while living together? It's good that he's willing to go to (or is in) counseling. He may first need to say things to someone besides you.
Concerned_Listener
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."