I think I am going to just hold off on contacting him. I want him to realize what he has done and be the one to apologize. I am heading to MC in a few but will try to steer clear of my cell for a while. I just think it is more important for him to realize what he is doing than for me to point it out. That may just come acrossed as the controlling person that I am trying to destroy in myself.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Well, everyone...I will be in Las Vegas for work this week. I will try to give updates while I am gone but I don't know that I will have any to give. I have asked my H to do some thinking while I am gone so that we can have a civil/productive conversation when I get back. I had asked him if he would go out with me when I got back but the answer I got was, "We will see." What kind of answer is that? So I guess, we shall see.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Better than what I usually get. I usually get a yea that sounds fun. And then it always ends up being a flipin no show. At least he did not commit to anything.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
I think at times he is just waiting for that typical explosion that he would have gotten from me month ago when he does something stupid. But guess what???? He doesn't get the explosion. I just say "Ok" or "that's fine." But not in a sarcastic way either.
I started reading a really good book on the flight here (las Vegas) It is Torn Asunder by Carder. Great book. I don't usually read on planes but I just couldn't put it down. I know, I should be reading DR but I didn't want a target sign on my forehead when everyone was looking at what I was reading.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Well, I have been sitting in the Las Vegas airport for the past 6 1/2 hours. I got here at 6:30am because my flight was to leave around 9am. Due to weather, I got rebooked to another flight that does not leave until 4:10pm....That is PST. So needless to say I will have been here 10 hours by the time my flight leaves.
My mom was suppose to pick me up in Columbus but since she has the kids, she won't be able to drag them out at 11pm. So I had to stoop to another level and call my H. Well since he wouldn't answer, I ended up calling the OW cell to have him call me back immediately. I had to let my mom know what my travel arrangements were and had to make sure I had a ride home. So H called me right back...can we say "AVOIDANCE". It seems like he avoids my calls but answers her's immediately. So anyways, he agreed to come get me. Then OW calls me back to make sure H called me back. I told her yes and then we got into a discussion. It all came down to the fact that H is telling her that he has asked me for a D and I have refused. I asked her when that was and she said recently. I told her that the only time he asked me that was in October when I found out about the A. So needless to say, he is lying all the way around. WHY? I am so tired and don't know how long I can handle this. I am trying to stay focused on my goal and pray about his sitch....but I am starting to wear down mentally. H and I are suppose to talk on the way home tonight. I think I am just going to get in the car and be silent. I will let him lead the convo. I am scared...I don't know what to expect. He knows now that OW knows about him no asking me for a D....(did you follow that?) So will he mention it now because he has been busted?
Please keep me in your prayers as I fly home and then deal with H tonight. I told him that I DO NOT want a divorce, dissolution or anything. And just because I get papers, doesn't mean that I have to sign them.
Some encouraging words could really help right now but I will be doing alot of praying on the plane.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough go of it (because of the flights AND with your sitch) - it sucks big time doesn't it.
Hang in there girlfriend, I know you don't think things could get worse, but they can. You are doing the best you can with what you've got. Try and think about something positive you can do with the kids when you get back. Keep your chin up and don't let him drag you down to his level. You are strong and even if you aren't right now, don't let him know that.
My prayers are with you hun
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Thank you Heywyre! Like I said, I will be doing alot of God seeking on the plane. I have had too much alone time here in Las Vegas and all the emotions have caught up with me.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
