Nothing too exciting to report about the current sitch. H came over last night for about an hour or so and seemed to enjoy himself. I was sitting on the couch with our 3 month old and our D3 was sitting next to me. He sat down on the floor right infront of D3 and was playing with her and talking to me about the basketball game that he had gone too. He was laughing with the kids and we seemed to be like the family we used to be but happier. He helped me get D3 to bed and then was heading out the door. I walked him out and before I knew it, I said "Come home, please." He just kind of stared off into space for a minute and then said "Not right now. I am still trying to figure some things out." I told him that I had to ask and he said that he knew. I quickly changed the subject to him needing a winter coat. He didn't seem angry that I said it and I felt good about the answer. It made my night a little easier. I really don't know if that was his way of telling me no politely or if maybe he really is thinking of coming home and just needs to continue seeing progress in us. (remember, he is currently living with OW) I don't know. I am just taking the positive that he didn't say "Heck No!"
I also told him that I was going to go back to MC and that he was welcome to come. It didn't mean that he had to come but he is more than welcome. He said ok. So maybe in a few weeks he will decide that he wants to join me.
Baby steps...I have to keep thinking baby steps. I also have to go back to the phrase "Be patient and do not rush perseverence."
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Ok, I need either some smacks upside the head or some heavy prayers headed my way. I have dipped down in my mood today. Didn't hear from H yesterday and when I went online to check our bank account, I noticed a charge at the post office near OW house. It isn't that he was at her house, since he is living with her right now, it is that he never goes to the post office. It has my mind in all kinds of situations...is he changing his address to her place....is he sending me a certified letter.....Got to get this out of my mind. AGH!!!!
I know it is stupid but I hang on to every word that he says to me, especially the ones that imply hope. I know I am not suppose to believe most of what he says to me, but those things seem to keep me in the mind frame that our M will be restored. I have told him that I hang on the words that he says to me, so would he do it again just to crush me??!?!? I don't know. I think I am going to talk to him about it when I see him. Hopefully he will give me a call today and we can talk tonight.
Let me have it.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I know I shouldn't let him control my moods....It is just hard after a day of not hearing from him. For so many on here, that may be normal (not hearing from WAH/W). But not for us. We usually talk in one manner or another every day. That is what makes me think that things will be restored in our M. We are continuing to talk and the words between us are pleasant.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
This is what I have come up with. Don't know if this is what everyone means by their 10 greatest qualities. 1. Great Mother 2. Caring 3. Stong willed 4. Great Personality 5. Sense of Humor 6. Motivated 7. Forgiving 8. Trustworthy 9. Honest 10. Love unconditionally
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
To be honest, I feel the same. I know that I have great characteristics and qualities. Just don't know where to go from here. I am still reading DR so maybe I haven't gotten far enough in the book to know where to go from here. I am going to sit here and do some online bible reading and say my daily prayers for H.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
