HELP !!!!!! With Intimacy again

[Heywyre]

I am very confused about this whole issue of how, when and what to do with regard to the intimacy issue in our relationship.

Prior to the 2nd bomb (Dec 13/06) my H and I basically did not have a sexual relationship. It was not because of me - I tried and tried for years but he was never interested. He wrote it off to "getting older" and "not having the drive" he did when he was younger. Quite frankly, I believe he was dealing with the issue of infidelity (twice) but there are a whole lot of other issues (fear of rejection, fear of being hurt - again) etc.

When we first got together, he was very passionate, caring and understanding. We were older, having both been married before, and believed there was more to a relationship than just sex. It was nice - we learned to be best friends and express ourselves not only through intercourse, but also through cuddling, caressing and just being together. It was bliss and I couldn't believe I had found someone like this.

Over the years, the sex faded and in the past 5 years I can count on one hand how many times we've had it - and I would still have a couple of fingers left

Of course, during this time, he didn't seem to have problems with the escort services (although he said he did, due to his anti-depressants)

The other morning I got the shock of my life. As he was leaving for work he said "I know this is difficult for you but when you are ready just let me know because I would like to make love to you". I just about passed out! He hasn't approached me like that in about 10 years!

The question is - how do I get passed the thought of the OW - as much as I would love to be intimate with him again, and I think our marriage needs it desperately, I cannot get the images out of my head. How does one get past this?

HELP !!!