Well, I know this discussion may be "ending", but I had a thought. What if your S has some physical aspect that is interfering with their sexuality? Say for example the fact that a woman has small breasts means that she is constantly trying to hide her nudity, if anything remotely referencing breasts comes up she gets out of the mood, etc. Would the spouse be out of line suggesting a change at that point?
I guess my POV is looks don't really matter, all that matters is intent and ability, iykwim. But if looks interfere with ability (i.e. being so overweight you get tired after 30 seconds) or intent (having a part of you that makes you so self-conscious it turns you off instantly), then perhaps it is in the best interest of your M to change that.
I'll admit I have something akin to this situation at play. After having twins, my W's stomach is rather wrinkly and there is this large cleft from a hernia or something. It in no ways bothers me, which I have made clear to her on a number of occasions. After one incident of her being self-conscious, I pulled her shirt up, held her hands down, and kissed her all over her stomach (which led to ... well). But she still will deflate if my hand rubs her stomach. Now granted, I am not in favor of such major surgery to correct this problem on a whim, but if we have the money and the time and it continues to be a major issue for her, I think I would be within rights to make the suggestion.
I know this isn't really what ya'lls argument is about, I just wanted some thoughts. Plus I hate to see this hijack die so quickly.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
