First, Cobra, I didn't leave her at the hospital or make any remarks about what happened a couple years ago. Kind of following burgbud's email, that's just not me. In fact, if anything, I did the exact opposite, and I enjoyed it. The nurturing side of me came out, and, whether or not W appreciated it (I know she did, btw), I enjoyed taking care of her. I don't get to do that very often, because she generally eschews this kind of being taken care of.
But last night, I told her that I was going into work early today. Normally, I reserve Wednesday mornings as a late start day, so that she and I can spend some time together, and I can help her get DD5 ready for school. When I told her that I was going to work early, she made a kind of surprised, sad, puppy dog face, but I told her, rather confidently, that I had just taken an entire day off to be with her, and that I had to get back to work. She didn't push it.
MJ: I really wish my W had a friend like you, too. Thanks for your analysis of the situation.
A couple of vignettes: Tuesday morning, at about 2 am, W woke up with doomsday thoughts about the fact that she was going to have to have a general anesthetic for this surgery. Thoughts of death, thoughts of what she wanted me to do for our DD5 after her death, etc., filled her head and she shared them with me in the dark. And this: "I know I haven't been a very good wife to you. If I live through this, I promise to be better."
What do you do with a statement like that? I could have taken the opportunity to say, "you're telling me! I'm glad you actually recognize this fact! And just what, exactly, do you mean by the promise that you'll be 'better'?"
But, of course, that's not what I did. Instead, I chose to be the empathetic guy that she sometimes says I am capable of being. I pooh-poohed the thought that she wasn't a very good wife and I didn't even touch the comment about being better in the future.
Someday, somewhere, sometime, these Karma points will be able to be redeemed, won't they?
And one last thing. As the nurse was going over the post-operative care sheets (btw, she found out before the surgery that she could have a spinal anesthetic, and, after discussing it with the anesthesiologist, decided to go with the general), the nurse said "...and put nothing into the vaginal vault for two to three weeks. This includes tampons, fingers, and, of course, no intercourse."
Wait. Vaginal vault? Vault? VAULT!!?? That explains so much to me. This is the key, gentlemen! I need to get out of this forum and join the safe-crackers and lock-pickers forum.
