Still alive

[Burgbud]

So I made it to the 8th before breaking my New Year's resolution. I promise to do better the rest of the year.

Here's what I told her: I really like that place. I feel comfortable there. What you're seeing as controlling behavior, is confidence. You just aren't used to seeing it in me.

What I want for last Christmas is for you to add the phrase "Yep, that's me" to your repertoire and use it until everyone in your life begs you to stop. Of course you can't really use it unti you know who you are. Are you a man who puts his arm around his wife in church? Are you a man who drops his daughter off and picks her up when that seems like the thing to do?


She "kind of" apologized, in that she said she was kind of stressed and probably over-reacted; but she also said that I needed to be sensitive to that, and "tone it down."

Is it you? Then don't tone it down. Be you. I saw one of those stupid quips on the internet the other day that said, "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not." Does she hate who you really are? Does she dislike who you really are? Is she irritated by who you really are? If who you are is a man who needs to make her happy and who needs to make sure she doesn't leave, then be that guy and delight in it!

If you're another thing then be that and don't let her tell you who that is. If you're a disrespectful misogynist jerk then spend 2007 perfecting your condescending sneer and dripping-with-sarcasm tone of voice. If you're patronizing and inconsiderate then polish up your smug expression and that blank look you get when you don't understand why everybody's picking on you.

So here's how my version of your 2007 looks:

Her: I didn't like how you put your arm around me. It seemed paternalistic.
You: Yep, that's me! I'm a little protective and paternalistic sometimes.
Her: You're going to work on that, right?
You: No. I kind of like that about me. My flaws make me interesting.


Her: That was pretty controlling, dropping off DD5 and then picking her up.
You: Naw. That's just the way it worked out.
Her: <brings up ten billion ways you've been controlling previously including in past lives (taking particular relish in detailing your unbearable heavy-handedness as Genghis Khan) and comapres you to other men she knows or has heard about or has some vague recollection of that were controlling b4st4rds>
You: That's wild, isn't it? But you know, sometimes I drop off DD5 and sometimes I pick her up. I promise not to hog all the action, though. That would be wrong.

Of course, you'd be running the risk that she decides you're a bad guy and leaves. You might want to always err on the side of caution so she never has a legitimate complaint with you. That's not my recommendation; I'm just sayin'.


(Cobra) Not too long ago some of the women here were gushing over Dieda, wishing their husbands were like him, caring, attentive, yet quietly strong and self assured. A woman has no problem in justifying that a man put her first in his thoughts and the purpose of his life’s mission.

Just so we're clear, you're not saying that part in bold is Deida's position, right? Because if it is we read totally different books. Mine has a chapter called "She Doesn't Really Want to Be Number One."