Thank you Andy, ANewBob, SI, Rayanne, others who read for dropping by.
I’m doing fine, I guess. Nowadays, I’m not sure what “doing fine” means any more. Mentally and physically I think I’m OK as far as I know, but then again I might not realize what I’m talking about either. It sounds like “crazy”, doesn’t it?
No, I have not given up yet, but I’m getting closer and closer as the day goes by. But in reality, there is not thing much left between us as far as the intimacy department is concerned. I thought that I have tried my best but the best wasn’t enough in my wife’s eyes.
Like ANewBob mentioned earlier, my wife redirects her time and energy to other things, but me even after she ended her affair. In her mind, there wasn’t anything new about me, but the same old thing. I thought I have changed, but I was wrong about her perception.
When Andy said, “I'm convinced that if we can only hold on long enough, we'll get there.” Yes, but at what cost? We might get there in person, but our mind, our heart and our soul might not get there to support that person.
Well, SI, you put a very tough question here for me to answer. Unfortunately I don’t have one right now. Somehow my wife thought that the only thing we “need” to pass this hump is the “sex” issue. She said to me that she doesn’t want to have sex any more, but I still want to have sex. That is completely the opposite of each other. She is not willing to have sex with me right now and doesn’t know when and will let me know when the time comes. If I accept that term and/or don’t expect or think about it, then be willing to wait for it as long as I live even to mean for the rest of my life (She admits that it is a selfish demand on her part.) If I don’t accept this sexless marriage then there is only one way out. That is a divorce, but she doesn’t want to get a divorce if we don’t have to.
The next question that she asked me why can’t I live without sex? And followed by “Do we have to have sex in the marriage? I said to her that in general that is what people do when they married. Then she said to me that is what the general people do, but she was talking about us, not the general people. Did you see what her logic here?
