LAN and Andy - I empathize completely with what you're going through since it seems that W is bound and determined to go down that road as well. It seems as if they have their own demons to battle but are just too afraid to try - so they just shut down or redirect their energies to other things (kids, close friends, job). And I have thoughts sometimes as to just being swept up by an attractive woman and surrendering myself. But that is not something that I want or seek to search for - but our current states sure leaves us vulnerable.
But you're right, Andy - I don't intend to give up. I read a post sometime ago that everyone is entitled to a life that is full of hope, optimism, passion and unconditional love. That is our goal - to share that kind of life with our respective spouses. I hope that we all make it there...
