How to get sex back on track?

[Neverland]

Last night I started reading SSM. While I am only a few chapters into the book I find it doesn’t mention our situation. I think we would both claim to be the partner with the higher libido. My H wants more sex and so do I. Our dilemma is how to get it. I find our encounters fairly unpleasant. They are very abrupt. There is no foreplay and no afterglow. I’m usually not ready, so intercourse is somewhat uncomfortable. If this was something I wanted more of, the next problem would be that my H can’t keep an erection more often than every three days. Trying only seems to lead to his frustration and hurt feelings.

Add to this that my H is not affectionate at all. He rarely kisses me except during sex. He does not like to hold hands. If he touches me outside the bedroom it is usually to grab a breast or my crotch. When we do kiss, he is so aggressive that his whiskers scratch my face.

He is very angry about the situation and feels that it is really my fault. He believes I just don’t like sex. Meanwhile, I long to be close and connected to him. To share the fabulous release that I know sex can be. I want to be open and anxious to be together rather wanting to avoid it.

Does anyone have a similar story? Any thoughts on what could help?