I am glad you two finally went to sleep !... Anyway.. What I was getting at 1210 was the fact that his mother dies.. and he has no compassion for the death of your family member ?! I mean there is surely a complete lack of understanding and sensitivity to this guy.
I see what you're saying Tom, but my XH does not think that my cat is on the same level as a human...even though, I do. He's really being completely irrational...but, he came to me and he can also walk away again if he wants to.
I went out with one of my friends tonight to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and had a really good time. I am really stuffed, by eating a pizza appetizer...whoa, it'll be hard to sleep tonight. Friends stick by you and Annie is all for me taking my time...whatever I decide to do about my XH she will back me up...although, she wasn't happy about his attitude over Cheddie. She knows him and thinks that he is a little over himself...which he is, but he's always been that way...the guy with a cool car, great clothes, and good looks - but, that isn't what sets the world on fire. It's compassion, caring, good manners, respect for all people, loving life to its' fullest.
Your X sounds like a shallow self centered type person that expects immediate gratification and revels in being in "control".. that being said...and I am sure you look wonderful in black.
I'm fine this evening...the X called and wants me to call back, but I'm busy...I'll call him from work...
Yes, he is a little self centered, loves himself greatly. But, I love myself and I come first...actually I'm avoiding him now...just need a little more time.
If someone "loves themselves" greatly... and are not for others ?.. well they are a bit more than a "little self centered" ?
Of course that can have its attraction as they just sort of do their own thingy.. and maybe show up unexpectedly without consequence ? It is all about THEM.. I would think ?
1210, it's good to love yourself and to be able to put yourself first, when you choose to. The trouble with people like your XH (and probably my W) is that they don't make the choice. They are on auto-pilot, it's ME, ME, ME, it's kind of like breathing for them so they don't CHOOSE! Then they can't figure out why others don't want to play with them anymore. Go figure. BTW froggie has made his dresser debut, he looks outstanding! How's the Chia pet doing?
My husband has a difficult time with empathy so I can understand where you're at. And with my husband I realize this is who he is. It's good part genetics with some environment. I imagine him sort of like Spock from Star Trek. He just doesn't always get empathy. There's also an immaturity. And yet, on the other hand, my husband has some attractive qualities.
It is kind of interesting how there are these qualities we dislike in our spouses such as lack of empathy, selfishness or immaturity and yet sometimes it's these qualities that attract us to them in the first place. For example, I'm very emotional and can be overly empathetic. I sometimes think the attraction to my husband was that his lack of emotional expression balanced out my expressiveness.
I can understand you being angry about your husband's lack of empathy, but I also wonder if (like with me) there's something (besides looks and money) that attracted you to him and these "negative" qualities. (i.e.... My daughter is aggressive, but I've always described her as assertive. The positive side to a negative quality).
Just a little late night rambling to consider....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
You sound soooo much like me...My XH has great qualities but not for pets. We were once driving out of a mall parking lot, it was raining, the lot was full of water; he stopped the car, told me to stay in the car - got out and ran up to this boy that was walking through the puddles. The boy stopped and picked up his foot - blood was every where - my fiance, at the time, picked him up and carried him across the street to an apartment complex. Apparently, the boy lived there and he was taking him home. He was probably gone for about an hour - his mother called the paramedics and they took him to the hospital, he needed some stitches in the ball of his foot from stepping on a jagged piece of glass.
He has his moments.
I called him today at work from my lunch hour...he asked if I was over my grieving for my cat. I said pretty much, but I didn't like the things he said about Cheddie and if he did not respect my feelings, then I felt we should just let the whole "get-to-know-you,-again" thing end. Well, he said he was sorry, but he felt that I put too much feeling into my animals. So, I told him that they are my children and he has to respect that - or, leave. He apologized and then asked me if I wanted to go out tomorrow night for dinner. Soooooooooooooooo...I said yes, what time?
He has a repreive...so to speak...until he screws up again. I put my heart in the lingerie drawer, where it will stay until I'm convinced he is legit.
