Flip

I've been thinking of that all day today...do I really want
to go back to something that toxic. Thinking back, I just
knew, it seemed too easy to let go...I did a lot of things
that I probably would have never done being M. Maybe, just
maybe, someone is telling me or showing me, that it's time
to set forth w/o the X...to move on and not look back.

Although, my M wasn't considered bad or unhappy - I did
feel that it was something surreal...a bond for purposes of
bonding...that's probably why, I prevented myself from
getting pregnant. Somehow, it was not for a long term
distance...so, does that make me wrong, bad, masochistic,
to question now, do I want this? Did it take losing my
little orange boy, to realize that, my XH has no respect
for my feelings, even now?

Pondering these questions are now in the brain, regurgi-
tating over and over...