Thanks Cat - This is perfect! My H has moved back home over the last 2 weeks, and I find myself wanting constant reassurance that he is over OW. He can't give that yet - wants it to be over, but says it's harder than it sounds. What I hadn't thought of was that I need to ask him to forgive me. I do take half the blame for our failed relationship, and while we've discussed the shortcomings we both felt over the years, I never asked him to forgive me - just that I was able to forgive him.
Quote: That's why I think it's so necessary to let go of the past. Because of our history with our spouses we have all the expectations for reassurance, etc. But the WAS can't give that cause they don't have it. THEY BAILED ON US! Right or wrong, they may not have much to give anymore, but if they're WILLING to build something new, if we're willing to let go of the past once it's been sufficiently dealt with, then it's all about that. GH rightly points out that in the end, assuming our WAS are willing to recommit 100% and do their part, it's going to be our game to lose. We either just get over it or we don't. That's why I think it's so necessary to let go of the past. Because of our history with our spouses we have all the expectations for reassurance, etc. But the WAS can't give that cause they don't have it. THEY BAILED ON US! Right or wrong, they may not have much to give anymore, but if they're WILLING to build something new, if we're willing to let go of the past once it's been sufficiently dealt with, then it's all about that. GH rightly points out that in the end, assuming our WAS are willing to recommit 100% and do their part, it's going to be our game to lose. We either just get over it or we don't.
That really makes sense to me now.
Thanks for posting all of these great reminders. You should put them on the MLC forum as well.
