Hi Laura, Ugh, I don't know why I did it, but I went on H's MySpace today. I was completely concsious of what I was doing too. I knew it was going to hurt me no matter what I saw, but I still did it. I think I have been around such negativity lately that it seemed to put me deep back into limboland. I guess I was hoping to find some type of change in him. I know, it was really stupid of me. Of course I would know if something has changed in him because I would see it, not on MySpace, but in person. I feel like I have been kidding myself into thinking that there was a possibility that H missed me, that H wanted to come back...I can see this is not true.
Quote: I think I was just so upset b/c it seems like he is such a stranger to me now, but I have to tell myself that I can't focus on that. I can only focus on myself and allow God to help my H w/ his own baggage. If we are supposed to be together, our past will speak for itself when OG shows her own true, immature colors. But my H, has to see that w/o any help from me.
I feel the same way. My H has changed in so many ways, but it's his morals that have changed the most and it really hurts. Many of his other changes are good for him. He looks good, he has a more positive outlook it seems, he is making more friends and networking more...it's incredibly painful that I am not allowed to share these changes with him.
