So sorry for your discovery. Doesn't seem to matter how our MLC spouses find to send these lovely messages to us, they all hurt the same way. Please remember that his actions have nothing to do with what kind of person you are or how precious you are. MLC, if that's part of this, is inherently about selfish behavior on the part of the MLC'er.
He's not looking at you honestly, because his thoughts are elsewhere. He's not even looking at her honestly because his thoughts are on the fantasy that he has created in his mind. Right now he thinks she can satisfy the fantasy and that you can't. And understand, I'm not just talking about some sexual fantasy he has, I'm talking about a mental fantasy about what will make him feel happy and complete. It's the trip he's on.
You can't do anything to change his mind. Whether you're nice to him or mean to him really won't make much difference right now I think. But there is no reason for him to think that you will be sitting around waiting for him or looking after him, particularly if he's pursuing someone else. So I'd say it's time to shut him off. If you want to share with him what you've found as an introduction to why you're shutting him off, I don't think that's a problem. You might check with others here to see what they think.
Sorry again IT. Please, please take care of yourself and spend some time breaking away from him emotionally for now. Do something nice for you, put your focus on caring for you and doing nice things for you for awhile. Your happiness does NOT depend on him.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
