Quote: This "self-imposed" boundary seems to be a burden that you feel like you're carrying around, and that seems to me to defeat the whole purpose of boundaries. They are supposed to make it easier for us to know what to do, not harder. Maybe it's time to re-visit this particular boundary and define it a little better.
I agree - I don't think I expressed that correctly when I said "self-imposed." I guess that I should have said that my H basically told me that was the way it should be. I agreed to that boundary only b/c I didn't think that I had another option. So at this point, he is to only contact me when he is ready or really wants to. The way he made it sound yesterday was so final b/c he also mentioned proceeding forward legally when he had the money. Of course, he may just be reacting that way b/c he felt so low, confused, etc., so it was his immediate way to handle the situation. I'm not sure if time will help him think about things differently or not? I believe that I have read other situations that have mentioned where the WAS believes that D is the only option at a certain point, but they will often come out of that thought process. I think that if I contact him too soon (which is why I couldn't believe that letter arrived today!) he will remain resolute in his decision.
Quote: As for the car insurance, is this information that you cannot just go ahead and provide to them without your husband? I'm assuming that this additional charge will be something YOU will have to pay, and if so, I'm doing whatever I can to make sure I don't have to pay it. Now if it's his problem, I'd maybe send one more message then FORGET ABOUT IT.
I actually don't have any of this info to give him. If there is a penalty, he will have to pay it. I could call them and tell them that we are separated and to send his mail to his mother's home (although he doesn't live w/ her, she could pass the info along); but then again, that seems like he should get back to me if it is really important. I guess I'll wait a few days and then send him one last message.
