hey guys see I do still keep an eye on you all lovingdme (just can't get used to that name will have to stick with LH) you just made me think you said
Quote: I hate to "give up". I don't want to fail.
that got me to thinking give up - fail what if we are supposed to recognise that something is not working - that it doesn't work for either party and makes two people miserable
these days I am thinking that most things that happen do for a reason - and the key is for us to work out what that reason is did we get together with someone because the children we had were meant to be born into this world but were we when meant to realise the relationship wasn't working and do something about it - and by that I don't necessarily mean 'fix it' I mean more like 'leave it and remain friendly' I don't believe in determinism I don't believe for a minute that our lives are planned and have a particular path that we are meant to follow if that was the case we may as well stay in bed as what will be will be with or without our input we have choices and sometimes we don't always make the right ones - we make the emotional ones if we have buy a car and its a lemon we get rid of it if we have a job that sux we get another one if something in our life isn't working we try something else we try to stick with what works and build on that
why then do we 'flog a dead horse' when it comes to trying to re-establish a relationship that wasn't that great to begin with is it because we think it is a reflection on us and our ability to hold something together while it crumbles around us and makes us feel bad and makes everyone around us feel bad
sure we all go into relationships with high hopes and believe it is worth fighting for but why do we continue when it doesn't work and it makes us miserable
why do we hang on for grim death to someone who says they want to move on without us and treats us badly anyone else we know if they did the same types of things we would walk away because we deserve more why do we equate a breakdown in relationship between two human beings as a failure on the part of ourselves?
gosh I think I am now 'thought out' and need to go for coffee
Nicola - I am still impressed by your ability to continue to analyse your situation LH - you just blow me away with the 'new' you
