You've received some wonderful comments and observations here. Like BBA, I've never been in the "choice" situation. That said, I think she and mermaid particularly have hit on two important things. First, until you feel for sure it is time to do something else, just keep still and keep working on you. Second, this time is so well spent grieving that first M. No matter what happens in the future, that M is over, and must be grieved for you to come out healthy.
