The only thing I can say in addition to all of this is: I don't think you should stop hoping for a reconciliation in terms of that being a goal.
Stop hoping in terms of wishing it were so and expecting it to happen, but don't stop working towards it.
I'm trying to get at the difference between just wishing and not doing anything about it and doing the work. You've definitely done the work, Nicola. He isn't there yet because he hasn't worked like you have--and he can't as long as he in the MLC storm.
As long as the door hasn't closed for you, keep working on yourself and your life and your R with your kids, and yes, your R with your H. Annie's post is so beautiful and right on, and I think she's right that you'll know when the door closes for you, but as long as it's open, keep fighting the good fight. Keep living in the present as much as possible. Do it for you, not for him or anyone else.
