I hear ya. It's tough to stand and wait for someone so that you can have a R that you never really enjoyed to begin with. Why the heck did we have to make those vows, "till death do we part", "in good times and in bad", blah, blah, blah. It'd be much easier on our individual conscience's if we just had'nt made those vows. He's a jerk, not my kind of guy, it's taken me a long time to figure that out, so adios! Seems like life would be so much easier that way.
I'm still standing for my M because my W, my M, is worth standing for, and although it's not as good as it could be, it is fulfilling in many ways. You are in the dryness right now though, nothing fulfilling about your sitch. I don't know if I would have hung on as long as I did if my W had been 1) dating, 2) partying, 3) not changing.
I did some research, and spoke with my pastor and according to him, D is allowed in certain instances, but remarriage is not allowed. I know it stinks but that's what I found out. I don't believe that God would send us to hell for D a deadbeat H, but it makes one think a little more and not jump to a hasty decision.
I can understand your sitch though. You describe it very well, and I'm frustrated for you too. My heart wants you to D your H, and find OM that'll love you for who you are and give you that deep connection you so long for. But there's another part of me that's hopes for a miracle.
One quick not about your frustration with your H becoming the father you wish'd he would have been before. My W has hit me with that one. Here's what she did'nt understand, and still does'nt really understand. When the kid's were small, I had this plan in my head. I'd work my ass off so that when they were say 6 and up, I could be set up to take a lot of time for them, sports, activities, etc. When their little, they need their Mom much more than Dad. So I just went with the flow. Don't get me wrong, I changed hundred's of diapers, played bumper car's, and jungle jim, and spent a lot of time with them. I guess just not enough in the way she wanted me too. So, I just want to warn you about your attitude towards his fathering. For your kid's sake just be grateful that he's interested now, nurture it, foster it, support it. Let go your pride and ego on that one, because God is working to help your H love your children. That is a blessing that many kid's miss out on, and it pains them for their whole life.
It's good that you can vent and talk about your frustrations here. Keep the faith!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
