Still on the journey 2

[COG]

Nic,

Great reflection. I think most families are dysfunctional to one degree or another. I know mine was. My father told me he loved me, but many of his actions said otherwise. He's an alchoholic, in denial, and not a fun drunk. He get's short tempered, angry and very critical. I never knew who I might meet at any particular time, the angry guy, or the nice guy. At 83 he's still drinking. I've just kept distance between us, honor him, but don't allow him the chance to hurt me or my kid's. My kid's love him and wonder why we don't spend more time with him, but they've never seen his dark side.

My best friend, my Mom, died of cancer about 20 years ago. She knew me better than anyone, and was the one person I could ALWAYS count on. It's almost harder now not having her, than it was when I lost her in my 20's.

Anyway, a couple of things from your post. You grew up in with both parents living together, and how'd that work for ya? I suggest you tell your kid's you love them regularly, and show them how you love them through your loving acts. Also, listen to your kid's and acknowledge their feelings. Let them just vent sometimes like we all need to do. And listen to what they ask for, what they say they need from you(not the material stuff, the emotional stuff).

You'll probably have the tendency to try and control with subtle intimidation like your mom did, but it's good that you recognize that, so you can change that.

There are very few of us that have grown up in the perfect situation. Those lucky one's that did, are ill prepared for the imperfect world that we really live in. We need to recognize that the people who've hurt us most, are probably those most hurting.

You can still provide the loving family that you've always wanted for your kid's. Start now, today. Create it as God would want you to, with the blessing's He's given you.

Love,

COG