Maybe you are getting to the place I am right now. I realize that I was unhappy with my H for quite awhile, for a year before he left. He was not a good H for me and did not give me what I needed in a R or M. And I did not give him what he needed. I was more than willing to work on things, but he was not. He is a completely different person from who I met (or if this is the real him than I missed something along the way.) But, I realize today that I deserve more, I deserve someone that will return all the love I have to give. And that is what I am looking for now. At the same time, I will continue to find myself and figure out what I want out of life separate from anyone else. So, if you are at that place, there is nothing wrong with it.
I think a lot of us are getting to this place right now. Is it the new year? We didn't all start here at the same time. I still hope to have the chance to build a new M with my H, but I sure don't want that old one back. The past 5-7 years have really sucked and I will not tolerate that again.
Daisy, what you wrote above was beautiful. I've been wanting to wish you a Happy New Year, but I don't think you have a thread anymore. Thank you for your good wishes on my thread; I'm so glad you are feeling more peaceful at last.
Love to you both,
Nicola
Thank you for the well-wishes and posting on Christy's thread. I don't have a thread anymore though I do come here just about every day to see how everyone is. I see that you are doing so well. Hearing about your beautiful baptism was really lovely. I am so happy for you.
I think you are right. The new year brings many revelations and new thoughts and different perspectives. I think you and I have both been unhappy in our M's for awhile, both missing what we have been needing from our H's. Probably different things, probably similar things. You posted to me that I deserve something more, for someone to return the love I need and the love I have to give. My focus now is on me - mending what I need to within myself and creating the life I want. The R stuff will fall into place on its own. That is what I believe. I believe the same for you and I think you are well on your way down that path. The R stuff (with or without your H) will fall into place for you on its own!!
